London is No Place for a Cheap Ass Bitch

The title might be a little deceiving as YES I had an amazing time in London, but very far from cheap. I did choose a lot of free touristy activities such as going to the TATE Modern, lounging in the Green Park, visiting the famous Abbey Road, and walking Portobello Market on a Saturday, but unfortunately it is the Underground Transportation that gets you to all these places that really adds up.

I did however stumble upon the greatest cheap ass accessory of a displaced irish/german/drinker in London...

Yes, that is a liter bottle FULL of Strongbow cider for 3pounds! Yum!

The weather was beautiful, the cider plentiful and I can't wait to see where I end up next.....oh that's right, the Cheap Ass Bitch is taking Boston by storm all summer long...so step aside Massholes, there will be a new bitch in town. But don't worry I am not a Yankee's fan, Go Giants, GO Panda!

Solitary 5.0

If there is any social experiment I want to try it has to be Solitary....a reality TV show that confines you in a small "pod" to perform mental and physical chaellenges for days on end with lack of sleep and food, your only moves dictated by a talking computer not so ironically named "Val".

Val

I don't really want to do the whole TV part of the show, but the locked in a room having only yourself as your worst enemy thing sounds so interesting. How do you know what you are really capable of until you have been sleep deprived, starved and made to wear a gorilla suit while eating numerous bananas?

Bertrum Van Munster you really missed out on this show.

The Cheap Ass Food Report: A New Weekly Column

I have decided my love of food and my love of being a cheap ass must combined into a new weekly column where I rate cheap restaurants in my neighborhood (old favies to new ones)

I was recently introduced to a sandwich shop that has taken over my mind...which is normally over run by the thought of burritos....

Num Pang is a very small Vietnamese sandwich shop located in Greenich village on 12th St right off of University Place. The sandwiches are not very traditional but holy crap I can't stop thinking about them. I have only had the roast pork belly and the brisket, but based on these two sandwiches alone, I am sure they are all delicious, and at $7.50 that are the best damn lunch or dinner a small amount of money can buy.

photo credit - roast pork belly with pear

Ok, so I didn't take that picture...I brought my camera with all intentions of it, but right when I saw that sandwich there was absolutely no time to take a picture before it was in my mouth.

Num Pang

Deliciousness - *****

Price - $

Cheerio, Pip Pip Bitches!

I have always wanted to say that and actually been on my way to the UK...well that time has come...cause I'm on a plane to Heathrow right now bitches!

I was invited a few weeks ago by a friend, but looking at the tickets I was not quite comfortable paying that price....well luck shone down on me (in a scary way) when my flight from SF had to make an emergency landing in Chicago.

"Excuse passengers, we have to make a unscheduled landing in Chicago, as our hydraulic's warning light is blinking, we will be landing shortly" - Pilot

The motors in the plane's wings start to make really loud noises, as I grab onto the arm rests tightly.

"Huhaha, that doesn't sound really good." - man sitting next to me making a joke

"SHUT UP!" - Me yelling.

Needless to say we landed fine, switched planes, only arrived about 2 and a half hours late and were issued $200 vouchers. Good job American!

So with that voucher plus my voucher from this post I was able to buy really affordable cheap ass bitch tickets to London!

So poppy cocks, bullocks and fish n' chips, I am out of here for the week!...but don't worry staying true to my desire to post, I have scheduled posts for while I'm away.

The Newest Addition to My Social Circle

Meet Watson.

Since I was about 19 I told myself I would own a dog by the time I was 26...well I am 26 and I am definitely no where near owning a dog. But thanks to my very good friends for adopting Watson, I now have an awesome dog in my life, who I will always be willing to dog sit.

We spent the day together at the dog park playing fetch and then both headed home for a nap on the carpet, with me intermittently waking up to snap pictures of him.

"Auntie, why you always have that camera in my face while I sleep?"

Watson may not quite be my goal of owning a dog at the age of 26, but he sure as hell is an awesome dude that perfectly fits into my cheap ass bitch life. Love you Watson!

Operating on Naija Time

So I have been a lazy bitch ass blogger since my return from Nigeria...and I while I was in Nigeria I was such a busy Mango I barely posted toward the end. If you haven't already, you can look at photos from my travels at A Mango's Adventures in Nigeria.

Naiji time is defined as the slow and hot pace of life in Nigeria. "Don't worry, Naija time!" At first this was a concept beyond a busy New Yorker like me, but as the 112 degree weather and stress set in, my only option was to operate on Naija time...the problem, I have yet to completely shake Naija time from my system. The Mission Madre was constantly annoyed at my lack of time management while I was in SF...and it seems my blog too has suffered from my Naija time attitude towards it, so here I am.

Nigeria has some amazing dancing...and though I am far far far from being a good dancer or graceful or quick on the dance floor I love to dance. So while in Nigeria, dance like a Nigerian. One of the popular dances is Alantaaa...where you shake your hands up and down your stomach while lifting your legs on every other beat (you are also supposed to distort your face to look crazy).

Learning Alantaaa from a dancer at Blake's (a restaurant/bar)

My favorite gift I got myself while in Nigeria was my Naija outfit. The fabric was a gift from a student, which I then took to a tailor to design a custom made top and skirt, and of course head wrap. The whole get up coast me 3000 Naira roughly $20! And believe it or not, cheesy tourist gifts were so much more expensive than a tailor made outfit.

My favorite activity on returning is dressing in my Naija outfit and greeting my friends with some of my Alantaaa skills!

The Cheap Ass Bitch is Back!

Belated Mother's Day

When I was recently visiting my family in SF, I came across some old family photos...because yes, again my parents were moving apartments...and yes we carried furniture on Mother's Day for our lovely mother....and YES I won't be there for the day the world's heaviest most awkward table will have to be moved.

Mom working the 80s Shredded Sweater and Short Spunky Hair & Her Creepy Clown