What I Am(Not)

I am a cheap ass bitch....and I mean that in the most sincere and charming way. If being a cheap ass bitch or a thrifty motha fucka or any other comparable term may offend you, then turn away now, as I am all of the above with the mouth of a sailor, thanks Dad, and a sarcastic bite, and yes, I have a keen knack to save, and not like Jesus.

I don't have more than a few hundred dollars in my bank account at any given time, and have never had "savings" as I think my married friends call it. I don't believe one should be frugal, cause no one makes friends by throwing in less than required in a dinner bill, but you better believe, if I have a 2 for 1 coupon to Jamba, I will be going everyday two times a day to get my Jamba's worth (this is a true story). This is me, the cheap ass bitch...not to be confused with the coupon mom....I know how to cut the corners, pinch your dollar and know if I'm not getting free shipping or at least 10% off my online order, I'm not looking hard enough for the deal.

The other day Simpsons Season 12 came out on DVD, so immediately I'm online trying to figure out the quickest cheapest way I can have it in my possession, neatly and colorfully displayed next to the others on my shelf. Amazon is always the place to start, and usually the cheapest, and with super saver shipping you really can't go wrong, $31.00 +tax and free shipping....I decide to look at Best Buy too, always got to compare the prices, don't just settle, and looky there, $28 +tax and I know I can pick it up during my lunch break at work the next day and be watching by bed time. The next day at Best Buy the DVD is labeled as $39, maybe some other fool would go for this, but I'm a bitch (again this is like beeetch and not like super bitch girl from high school who everyone hated) and go right up to the sales rep and ask him about the price, he scans it and again $39....Now I'm always nice to the customer service people (if you ever worked customer service I think you know why) and inform him that the DVD is on sale online for $28 and he looks it up online and sure enough he sells me my DVD for that price. Some jerk might not know better, but a cheap ass bitch always knows to get the deal.

I am here to make all you into the best cheap ass bitch no money can buy, one coupon/ online code/ thrift store/ sale rack at a time. WELCOME BITCHES!

xo